Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I hate you Bruce Scanner

**Warning: This Post contains copious amounts of rage and thus lots of F-bombs. If you're not a fan, well... read the post anyways. If you are, Happy reading!!**

I have finally named my printer/scanner of 8 years and I sure as hell hope it's offended because I'm pissed.

Bruce Scanner was a reliable device until about 2 weeks before I moved. I came across some comics I'd drawn as a child. Well teenager is more accurate and comics is a stretch. More doodles with horrible jokes and commentary on strange things like chicken. All in all it was good fun! I was excited to find them and even more excited to share the insanity of my youth with the world.

It was then Bruce Scanner became involved.

For some HORRIFIC reason he decided to Scanner Hulk out on me and screw up every other scanned page. Out of like 15 (sure, I know it's not that many but COME ON) less than half were salvageable.

Now I had no idea that Bruce Scanner had transformed into the horrible mis-scanning monster of mild intelligence and carelessly did not pack these amazing horrible and questionably tasteless comics in the move. Thus, they are gone.



Sure I know I should have checked the scanner but this one has never missscanned a page before and since all the comics were drawn on 8.5x11 and were all placed on the scanner the same way I assumed it wasn't being a dick.

I was foolish.

The first few pages seemed okay.

Only  the sides seemed to be cut off on Page 1 and page 2 looks perfect! But page three...

But page three... 


It's like he decided oh no, you only get to see the worst part of this page, ruin the entire joke and cause incomprehensible comics to become even MORE incomprehensible. 
I'm so mad now I feel like I might Hulk out. 

But wait, just when you think it's okay to throw Bruce Scanner out the window he goes and does this... 

Back to fucking normal. Why? Because Bruce Scanner hates me. He hates my life and all my insanity. Some of you might think he's doing something good, attempting to help the world and save you all from Stick Man comics of bad taste but do not be fooled. He's just a hulked out retarded shell of Bruce Scanner: Bane of my existence. 


Why bother ending the joke when you can just assume the reader has an idea what was going on in your head?!!! Oh Bruce Scanner, you prankster, you JACKASS! You ruin the punchline and THEN you ruin the "happy" ending. What a dick... 

So the moral of the story? Never trust your scanner, least of all Bruce Scanner. He's a prick that hulks out when you need him most and smashes your dreams with incomprehensible scans leaving you first with a false sense of security. 

Fuck you Bruce Scanner. 

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