Thursday, February 20, 2014

Ikea is an obsession

I have accepted it, I embrace it and despite my post on trying not to do it all I can’t stop looking at the Ikea catalogue for the 2013 season. It’s official, I’m a Swedish décor-whore. (That’s fun to say!)

Now putting aside the point that in nearly every post I make I mention the word ‘whore’ out of appropriate context, I think it’s time to share why I love Ikea.

1. It’s empowering.

Not only do you not need some designer to tell you ‘it all works’, because we all know Ikea furniture and accessories work with ALL Ikea furniture and accessories, but you put it together yourself. For the DIY’er it’s a happy wet dream with instructions. Not only do I get to put it together properly but I can say ‘I built that’ when someone compliments my tack-tacular Ikea shelving units. (IVAR all the way).

2. Neutral as shit.

90% (I made up that number in my head) of Ikea furniture is white, grey, black, ‘wood’ or ‘cream’. This means it goes with everything but brown. And even then I’d probably still put it together. If you have that one random orange pot you spray painted on an off DIY day it’s okay!  IT’LL WORK! In fact I have such a lovely bright orange pot sitting on an IVAR shelving unit AS WE SPEAK. I can tell you, it ‘goes’.

3. I’m cheap as shit.

Furniture is expensive. I probably didn’t need to tell you that but I’m going to say it again.
It’s muthafukin’ expensive! With that note sinking in Ikea often offers a relatively cheap alternative to muthafuckin’ expensive shit out there. Sure you get what you pay for (Except in IVAR, I think I might want to be buried in it because that shit never stops being awesome) but as a young, cheap-ass woman living in a cheap apartment, I’m gonna go with Ikea to make me feel like ‘Yeah, I decked our my place in under $500 with awesome shit people probably think costs me $1000. BOOYA SUCKA’S!” Please note my friends are normally in the room when I say this shit. To their faces.

4. It’s like dollar store shopping but with couches.

I’m not trying to belittle Ikea, my apartment after all is filled with it, but the cost vs quality ratio makes it feel like the most epic Dollar store with the most amazing stuff ever. Rarely can you find similar products for cheaper (and by ‘you’ I mean ‘me’ and by ‘find’ I mean I don’t look elsewhere). So when you go it’s always a “Omg you have no idea how much I got for so cheap, look at these adorable trays I don’t even need but totally bought because they were like $3 dolla’s and I was like ‘Bitch I don’t pass up $3 dolla trays!” But seriously, I want those trays.

5. The catalogue.

I worked at the bay, their catalogue sucked. Sears was like the anti-christ and I’ve never touched anything of theirs (I know you bought that duvet set for First year res there Mom. I’ll never forget.) Walmart doesn’t have one and quite frankly anyone else who does can’t possible beat an Ikea catalogue. They’re pretty, well organized and filled with more than just 'hey here's our crap'. They know their market at try to cater to the DIY'ers, the trendy 'I think I'll have an orange couch cover this week and switch back to white when the rents come over' and the obsessors of organizational things. I love looking through them to find stuff I don’t need but totally want and then slowly boil that list down until it reaches the perfect ratio of cheap vs. cute-as-sin. It’s a fine art with lots of maths that you’re jealous you don’t have. I’m sure of it.


I like lists. This is a list that I already like. Why? Because I made it, that’s why. And I love making lists of things I want. Love love love. It’s an addiction that no program can fix and today I will share with you my current ‘MUTHER OF GAWD I WANTS TO BUY THESE IKEA THINGS!’ list.

Pot lid organizer, stainless steel 
I am SOOO tired of hunting for the right pot lid because they'd disorganized and messed up in a random cupboard. This would make my life easier. Or so I tell myself.

Sheet set, beige
My cats like their nails. And my bed sheets. The first nice set we had was shredded (unintentionally) and because we like the cats more than the sheets I need a new set. In fact I should probably buy two...

Throw, multicolor
DUDE THIS THROW IS GREEN! I love green, and Orange so this could only be better if it was orange. But since I'm cold in my apartment NOW I would like this. Today. Give it to me. 
Tray, lilac, white
Goddam I can't resist these trays!

Hat and coat stand, black
Zach wants a hat stand even though we don't really have hats. I of course agree thoroughly and want one too. A good landing strip at the front door is one thing that I truly believe is essential. Plus, coat/hat racks are classy.

Bench, birch
Again with the front door landing pad essentialness: I have a plan one day to build the most amazing stacked bench wall front entrance way. The plan requires this bench. Why? Birch is bitch'n, I could always paint it a lovely shade of orange, and solid wood furniture lasts.

Sofa, Svanby gray
It's their famous couch, costs less than $600 with an lovely grey couch cover. Now this is more important on the list of things to do as the couch my mom helped buy for my birthday what... two years ago now? Yeah, it's deflated. And by deflated I mean the cushions have lost their cush. No cush is hard on my toosh. And the springs are making for a great escape. I can't have that so this sofa, approved by Zach, is the one!

Cushion, beige
Map Cushion ='s happiness for a history nerd. Why? Because I said so and I think Zach agrees. Mostly he just nod's but I take that as consent.
Swivel Chair with armrests, black

Swivel Chair with armrests, black
This chair is tits. I mean that. I love it. I sat in it and made those happy noises cats make and started wiggling in to get comfortable and it didn't take very long. My bum loved it and we tend to agree on things. Plus the price is great too. $100? Oh hells yes.

Kitchen card, dark grey
This is a purchase totally based on my friend Casey, over at, because she has one. I love it, I secretly want to steal hers but I'm sure she'd probably just prefer me to buy my own. And I like it in the dark grey.

Bin with lid, galvanized
I don't know about you but my trash goes out in style. Well this would be for recycling but still, you get the idea. Awesome bin for recycling is awesome. That or we could use it to store the coal for the BBQ. Whateves. I'll find a use!

Drawer unity with 2 drawers on casters, silver colour
I have files. They should be filed in something other than an old plastic unit I use as a footrest. Should is the key word here, I love this but can't really justify spending the moolah quite yet.

So there you have it. Why I love Ikea.

On a side note, I'm back. I could write a lovely post filled with apologies but you've heard it all before. Lets skip that step and get right back into the swing of things.