Friday, April 29, 2011

Royal Wedding 2011: Suzy Pouty-Face

No I didn’t watch it. To be honest I don’t get all the wedding hype. Not like I cared when Mulroony's kid got married. It’s just a goddamn wedding, but people were crying, marching in streets, getting up early. My mother had the tv plastered to it this morning. I asked her why, she said ‘because it’s important’. Eh. I don’t see it.

But anyways this isn’t going to be about how beautiful her dress was (it was though, I’ll give her that) or how ridiculous the hats were. That requires a dedicated education on ridiculous Brit hats I think.

This is all about this one picture.
Wedding Photo's, nabbed but credited to

That girl. Right there.

That kid will be forever remembered as Suzy Pouty-Face to me. And I know what was going through her head.

 "I’m bored”
“Kissing is gross”
“His face looks funny”
“I hate wearing dresses”
“These shoes hurt my tosies”
“There’s a bee in my flower crown”
“I want a real crown”
“Why can’t I be a princess?”
“I wanna be a princess”
“I’m hungry”
“I’m tired”
“It’s too loud!”
“I’m bored...”

Adorable cute pouty kid things that I remember thinking myself at weddings and other events where you’re put in a dress, told to be cute but quiet (two things that NEVER go hand in hand I think) and these things ALWAYS take longer than they really do as a child.
It sucks.

I feel for you little Suzy Pouty-Face. I really do. But proud all the same.

When you grow up you’ll look back at this photo and people will remember for years. You’ll be like the Coppertone Kid, but instead of your ass hanging out because of a puppy you get to live the rest of your life reliving THAT face. No one to blame but yourself.

Brave little soldier.
I commend you Suzy Pouty-Face for doing the right thing and pouting when EVERYONE is watching.
Everyone in the world.

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