Friday, May 9, 2014

Grow the Fuck Up and Eat Your Damn Fruits and Vegetables... Challenge

I don't eat enough fruits and vegetables. There is no long of this short and crappy fact. In this age of processed poop where I am brainwashed into feeling good about eating a macaroni and cheese that 'contains one serving of vegetables' in their not so cheesy tasting "cheese" sauce, something is obviously very wrong.

There are some truths about my eating habits I have to admit.
  • I over eat like a champ. That's probably not something to be proud of but if it was I would be.
  • I love the shit out of carbs. Carbs and I have a long standing love hate relationship. It's mostly based on me loving them and then hating the handles of love we've built together. Such mighty mighty handles. Also, typing carbs instead of crabs is really hard. That sentence would have had a totally different context if I didn't reread what I wrote. 
  • Sugar is sweetest when in my mouth. This was more true the younger I was, or said less awkwardly the older I get the less I like sugar. 
  • Salt is the nectar of the gods and of my probably high as hell blood pressure-y veins. 
  • I look good in red (meat). I mean I'm sure I do. I don't wear meat often, or ever unless you count your body as meat, then we're all wearing meat but... I like red meat. 
  • Bacon. Bacon. Bacon. No explanation required. 
Notice how in all that mess not a fruit or vegetable made an appearance. This is a problem. 
Now I can't blame macaroni and cheese, the government, my mom, that guy outside New York Fries giving out free samples or the... weather for not eating what I should. 
That shit is entirely on me. 

I'm less inclined to make the right decision on food habits due to pressure from a million and a half places but everyone deals with shit so today I'm telling myself to grow the fuck up and eat your damn fruits and vegetables. 

The GTFU F&V Challenge

One day a week I will try a new fruit or vegetable. I will start with, but is not exclusive to, fruits and vegetables I have either never tried before or have not tried in years because 'I'm sure I don't like it'. It may also include trying F&V I'm sure I don't like because why the hell not! Or you know, eating fruits and vegetables I already like. 


I dunno. Let's see... 
  • I have to eat it. I can't drink or juice it. Lemons are going to suck so hard.
  • It must be a fruit or vegetable. No magical bacontato here. Man... if that existed though I would eat the hell out of it. 
  • If it's in my grocery store(s) I have to try it. Well has it in an edible condition.
  • Try it both raw and cooked (if it can be eaten raw).
  • Will take suggestions from commenters on what to try next if available in my area.
  • Reaction photo's are required where possible because I make hilarious faces. 
If you think of cooler rules tell me. Can't hurt to make it interesting. The first step will be to keep it with the season and try to stay local (to keep the costs down) until I run out of local selections. I'm going to use this Availability Guide for Ontario produce from to guide me each month. 


Why the hell am I doing this? For a healthier outlook and a wider pallet for F&V to incorporate into my regular diet? A range of hilarious photo's of me making faces while eating? A sense of understanding in what I do and don't like? A list of what F&V work with bacon? Because bacon. 

Who the hell knows if I'll keep up with it or not. Maybe I'm slightly inspired by watching Julie and Julia but tempered with less aspirations for a book or movie deal. 

I aim to start this on Monday by picking a vegetable from the grocery store. There is a great chance I'm a giant wuss and will pick something simple I'm sure will be good but everyone starts somewhere and I like to be kind to me. 

Any suggestions? 

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