The Sad Soul on the PA

There’s always that one person in your office that’s on the PA way too much. Announcing phone calls, forgets to hang up the line, the one who laughs really hard or talks RIGHT against the phone so you can hear their haggard breathing from having walked up the stairs.

There’s also the sad soul.

The voice of a man or woman that comes on and behind it hides all the tones of sadness. Not happy with their job, or marriage or just disappointed with their life. There’s always one at the office.

Luckily here it’s all rolled into one; the lifer in customer service. Or well, one of the lifers.

 She’s a ‘round’ woman, so says the girl who’s a little ‘round’ herself. But like, really round and sounds round. She breaths so hard into the phone and when she goes on that some of our phone receivers crack out. Then there’s the tension, anger and underlying sadness mingled together in a sloppy insipid soup. You don’t even get this sort of strained attempt of emotion when listening to that stupid sad CSI music; you know the one where they uncover the dead body of a young woman that died for all the wrong reasons and one of the cast is all sad-face because THIS ONE really grinds their gears.

Like really depressing tones you just can’t miss and sometimes I think all of us in the office take a moment to mourn her, until we all remember the way she blares over the PA in the morning stifling sympathy as we all wince with minor headaches.

Then there’s radio voice guy. No explanation required. Countered with angry middle-eastern VP, impossible to understand Mediterranean Zibby (real name, super nice sweet man), younger female co-worker who is afraid to use it and older male co-worker who doesn’t know how and gets cute younger one to do it for him.

Oh how we have our PA atrocity diversity nailed.

I’m the girl with the slight lisp. I pronounce my s’s a little strong. I’m sure it drives everyone mad! But that’s for another day I think.